The boy with the thorn in his side.

julliard_dropou @ 2005-11-03T20:31:00

2005-11-04T01:31:53Z

Why are you so far from me?

School

2005-10-16T12:51:08Z

College is too much fun! the feeling still hasnt set in, and Im still not firmly rooted here in NC but all in time, all in time. Im happy I am more independant than I thought I would be so thats good. The culture here is so different, but in a good way. It's nice to get out of the sprawl of Florida for a change and slow down a little. My Psychology class is great, I love the professor and its very intereting. My other classes are well....classes and I enjoy them too sometimes.

Its been a while

2005-07-24T03:21:29Z

Its been 9 months since I last wrote in my livejournal, and alot has happened in those nine months, I decided to go to Barton COllege in wilson North Carolina. Thats really about it...I mean, Ive done alot, and stuff but nothing life changing. Im taking a train to NYC for my birthday next week which will be fun, Im meeting amy from ohio there, she doesnt seem too thrilled now, but she will be. Ive still been single ever since we last talked which is fine..I mean I have my loney days but even the best have those days. I think of it as allowing mysef to keep my focus on school and work....oh yea, I graduated in may which was awsome. On a good and down note, I met someone I really care about and have genuine feelings for, but on the other hand Im going to college in 3 weeks and so is she. Its funny how life works, and how someone just walks right into your life and changes things. I feel good when Im around her, Its good to feel that way again. Im not getting my hopes up for anything permanent. I mean that would be crazy to date someone a million miles away, but sometimes the most obsurd and odd options are the best..oh well...Im gonna enjoy it while Im still here and not think of the inevietable. my music taste has changed alot lately. Ive been getting back into aot of dreary music, like music you would listen to on a rainy day (kent, mirah, eisley, radiohead, coldplay) and alot more mainstream stuff (Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Gavin degraw) Its just music, I dont see why people define them selves by it. though music is deffning, I should know this for I am a musician. Im gonna go rest my eyes now, Im so tired...I hope I talk to her tonight.

IVe got one hand in my pocket.

2004-10-04T02:37:48Z

Oh what a weekend, full of letdowns, and broken plans, but made up by seeing gardenstate with an amazing friend, and another friend who talks alot, but still amazing non the less. and to say the least it wasnt a total waste, because I did mad crazy college hunting, and studied some for those SAT's, wish me luck.
Im still set that I could be so much more productive in a town other than this one, I feel so bogged down with traffic, and work, and a social life thats anything but social, and its sad to say that at 17 I feel I am at a higher stress level than I should be, and I know a few others who share this opinion. that St. Pete is anything but ideal living. but I should make the best of it, because in a few months Ill be gone, well...Im hoping thats how the dice role. and Im sure Ill be a rerard and miss it a ton, but thats just who I am.
Still at a state of loneliness...yess!, will it ever go away. hopefully, Until that day, Ill just spend time with the few amazing people my lafe has crossed paths with in the past few months. and hope for the best, but plan for the worst, maybe Ill wind up somewhere in the middle?

Hope for the best. plan for the worst.

2004-09-25T23:31:49Z

Today was a good day, and it was nice to play a show, and it seems like the crowd really enjoyed themselves too. It really is a challange to be interesting as solo musician, but I do good at it, to me, my music is telling a story about my life, and its nice to see people finally listening.
On a nother note, I got a letter from Shannon today, which is nice because she is amazing, and its also bad, because you usually only get letters from people who live far away, and Idaho is pritty far. Im convinced that she is the only person on this earth who understands me, and has took the time too look past it all, and make a good friend, and thats the problem with my school, Everyone in this town is to scared to put down there guard for a minute, and meet someone new, or too stuck up to say " hi, I hope your having a good day" and its pathetic that there are people who base there friendships and relationships on wealth and looks. Im not saying that I have no friends eather, I have good friends, and a great life, its just people need to me a little more open minded, and caring. And I need a homecomming date forchrissake, its my senior year. still no one in mind, but there is a very pritty girl in one of my classes.......ehh.....we'll see

Deep as in any paper plate.

2004-09-24T22:05:42Z

Man oh man, it was good to go on vacation, the cruise was amazing, and so were the people, the bahamas, and the food, but I tell you, its always fun to catch up on everything you missed while you were away,and I think everyone can feel me there, school, work, life in general, it all takes time. but hey, Im in the swing of things now, and thats good, and its the weekend and thats even better, and Im goin to see underoath next weekend, and thats the best. and homecomming is commimg up, and Im gathering up the nerve to ask someone to go with me, this shall be interesting, I mean I dont care who I go with, Im not shallow or anything, eveyone is beautiful in there own way, but id be nice to take a good friend, or meet a new friend and take them...ehh whatever, Ill you know if theres anybody out there, or lemmi know, whatever. off to beach pizza. yay

I'll paint the town in your favrote color.

2004-09-13T20:50:30Z

ITs been a rough couple of weeks, Im miserable with myself, and who I am and what Ive become, and im on a quest for a new begenning I guess you could say, but thatnx to the people that have spent time with me this weekend its helped me out alot, and this vacation comming up hopefully will put things into perspective, and calm my nerves a bit. and its been good missing so much school lately, that certenly has helped things alot.

Home is where you make it.

2004-09-11T02:55:59Z

BOy its nice to have power back, 5 days is a long time to have no AC or any luxury of modern living, all though I do have some cell phone problems I need to solve, haha, but Ill get back to all you dudes real soon

I'll marry my fingers to this stratocaster.

2004-09-05T14:57:49Z

Man oh man is this storm boring, theres nothing to do but sit at home and watch the butterfly effect a billion times, at least its a good movie....(and ashton Kutcher looks real hott in it lol ) whatever, and Ive been writing alot. maybe Ill pop out anther song before this extended weekend is through? yesterday I didnt do much of anything. I did meet some friends at the mall, and boy everyone was there too. Im looking out my bedroom window, and all I see is the palm trees bending over backwards because the wind is so strong. Sometimes I feel like Im bending over backwards because growing up is too strong, and Im sure you guys know what I mean. Im not saying I have a bad life, or If I seem unapprecitaive Im sorry, thats not it at all, its just somedays are worse than others, but then theres good days too. but I really wish this storm would go away, and I really wish I was in Idaho right now.

The new year brought too many changes, and you grew tired of my obsession with stages.

2004-09-04T12:21:39Z

Another day in paradise, wellI have some lawns to do today, so that will keep me occupied, and I might go somewhere with my brother so he doesn't get too bored, then I think Im seeing hilary again. IT was nice to finally see her, shes a goof n a half. haha, maybe even a lil to goofy... and all I can think about is my parents are only 100 miles from shannon in Idaho, and I should be there, because she seriously is the only one in this world who has a clue what Im all about, and she cares like its so offhand, and easy to listen and be a listener when its neeeded, and knows when to be a talker when Its needed too. She knows how to keep it real. and sarah oh sarah, its always great to see you, and laugh at fat kids in the butterfly effect, and you vent to me bout your life, and me vent to you bout my lack of life. I dunno...it was good to see so many friendly faces yesterday! thanx to everyone who made that day worth while.

Bordem got the best of me.

2004-09-04T06:59:44Z

Do you ever do the dumbest stuff when your bored? oh well....it was fun, a good night was had by all, just never again.

Do you think you'd be better doing what I do best.

2004-09-02T15:46:10Z

Hah, Im in my TA class right now, and I have nothing to do, and this hurricane might cancle school, which I wouldnt mind because hurricane days are cool, cuz it never really rains anyway. Im still missing shannon dearly, but Im getting by. Eisley is playing this weekend, and that will be cool, because there playing music for all the right reasons. Im playing music for all the right reason. Good comes to those who work.

Karma Police

2004-08-25T02:23:14Z

Im not a child...your the child, and I hope you end up pregnant, or at least you fail out of IB or something

I feel infanate.

2004-08-25T02:10:35Z

I finished my book, it was great, changed my life, I hate school, I hate working, I hate florida, I wanna make beautiful sounds with James Paul Wisner, I miss shannon, and I want her to have my heart someday. she really is perfect. Im gonna go see her soon, and idaho seems like a practical place. I find myself being happier alone than with anyone else, except for maybe shannon, but I dont see her much. I think Im the only one who understands me next to shannon. and if shes the only one I ever feel this way for, than that rocks. goodnight, my poetry book is calling my name.

A spoon full of regrets.

2004-08-24T02:29:35Z

I regret kissing in the rain with you, I regret seminole, I regret 5 friends I have made in the past 4 months, I regret not fallowing my heart, and I regret not falling in love with you, you really are the one, just distance is reason for my silent ways, but one day I sware I will come for you, one day will.

The quick glance romance is taking names.

2004-08-12T02:04:58Z

So theres a good show everynight this week, what should I do? lol welll...Ill just have to go to them all! lol! and can someone move idaho closer to Florida, I really miss shannon, she is one of my better friends, and she understands who I am just fine, and is fine w/ who I am. So tip your hat to shannon for being a real human, and looking past all pretense and the facade of someone..if that made since?

A Bowl OF Oranges

2004-08-08T02:33:45Z

So...Im out of my slump, and everything is great right now, I think what it was is every now n then you just get in the sad mood for a while, and thats what I was in, but Im perfectly happy now, and came to terms w/ everything in my life. and all is well! and school is great! what more could I ask for.....well... besides a girlfriend nothing.

For the sake of being right.

2004-08-05T01:50:11Z

Im makin myself sick again, and I know it, and Im not gonna do anything about it, I dont care anymore about anything.

Your actions may be faithful, but your words are infidel.

2004-08-04T23:00:13Z

Today was a tough day, it always seems to rain on my parade, or at least my job lol, but the one person who could make my day better did! and you know who you are. and sometimes I feel like what Im doing or how I approach things w/ you may be different, at the same time I know it will all pay off in the long run! and school was school like usual.

Cant take my eyes off you!

2004-08-04T01:44:11Z

So lately, theres been a pep in my step to say, she makes me feel unbelievable, like..... I dunno? everything's there, just its not. theres something, I dunno? I know she knows how I feel is genuine, and what is there is right. and I feel no matter how many poems or songs I write about her, those words will only translate to 1 year 7 months. thats an awful lot to throw away, but man......your so wonderful.....I see you round, and I think about you, and know that one day..maybe one day....it will be my day. <3 and everything Ive ever said in the past week has been nothing but the truth. <3333

I need you like water in my lungs.

2004-08-04T00:04:57Z

Sometimes I wish I could just drive over, and scoop you up and just take you far away, where we can just forget about everything and see what it would be like to be "us" for a day. and go about the day w/ no worries or no recollection to our lives or who or what is in them at the times. I know I could be everything you could ever want, I just hope one day I can show you that.

wear your heart on your sleeve

2004-08-03T21:34:59Z

I cant even explain the feeling I get when someone has a hold on my heart. its the best feeling in the world. and if thats the only feeling I ever felt for the rest of my life, than thats fine, but concider the fact that theres a wall between me and her, its not a bad wall at all, it just complacates my feelings a lil bit, but I ve learned to wear my feelings on my sleeve, and let it all out, so I guess Im letting it all out, but still keeping my distance. and maybe one day the wall will come down, or it may be there forever, but eather way I know I will have an amazing friend for the rest of my life whatever the turn out may be! and friendship is the most important thing in the world, but Im sure Ill always have a crush on you haha! Im a goob face <3

So I walk around with this rope in my hand.

2004-08-02T03:26:57Z

I really wish people could put all rumers, and pretence aside, and look at someone for who they are. I know Ive done some pritty lame things in the past. but like that word..its past, and its all behind me now, andIm different, and thers so much more to me than what you hear. and I wanna give you that chance to see who I am.. I promise Im worth your time, and what we have is pritty cool, and it will grow to be so amazing! and you know I will always be there! On a lighter note Im making a record in sept! everyone will go buy it, and support the good music I make! and school starts soon....I cant wait, and Im tired now..so lemmmi hit the sack! good night yall.

Gentleman dont ask questons.

2004-08-01T18:03:47Z

For anyone who didnt call me on my birthday, I had a great one, and alot of it was spent w/ an amazing girl! and her goofy, but still awsome friend. and lunch w/ julie was amazing too! but thanx to everyone who mede my birthday real special! as for now, im writing music...so Ill get back to that before all my ideas sour up

wear your heart on your sleeve

2004-07-31T01:42:53Z

So I went to warped tour today, and it was good to see old friends, and to see great bands..Underoath..taking back sunday, yellowcars...the good ones you know....and its also good to finally talk to someone that you've always wanted to talk to, and finally did...Im not gonna let out any names, but shes sweet, and nice, and...well yah...georgious too! and she makes me feel happy on the inside.but......(man, theres always a but)theres already a calim on her! hate it when that happens...but friendship is good too...but Im not rulen out any possibilties hahaha...have a great weekend yall!